Andi Green
Consultant Psychologist
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletters
1-2-3 Magic is the leading resource for parenting solutions that are easy-to-learn and proven to work. Developed by Dr. Thomas Phelan, a registered clinical psychologist and an internationally renowned expert on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2017
Attitude Adjustment Time! Big Dog vs. Underdog Parenting Styles
Anyone who is a parent knows that the job is tough. Really tough. If we moms and dads were really honest with ourselves, we'd have to admit that we had almost no idea what we were getting into when we brought that first baby home.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - February 2017
The Six Kinds of Testing and Manipulation - Who’s in Charge at Your House?
True or False? Kids’ self-esteem and creativity are both higher when they can “do their own thing” and they are not exposed to external limits imposed by adult authority.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2016
How to Keep Kids from Holiday Meltdown: The 4-year-old tore open a Christmas gift from his Grandma. Realizing it was a pair of pajamas, he screamed “No! I don’t want any stupid clothes!” and threw the PJs onto the floor. The problem? Grandma was sitting in the room.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - November 2016
Dad’s Discipline Blunders: The two biggest mistakes that most Dads make trying to use positive discipline with their children are these: Too Much Talking and Too Much Emotion.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2016
Your Child’s Self-Esteem: 5 Key Building Blocks: When your kids are adults their self-esteem will be an important barometer of how well life is going for them, and if they are going to maintain a realistic and healthy level of self-respect, two things will be required: Reasonable, real-world success and A fair internal judge
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - August 2016
Worried about your Teens? Ten Years from Now... Someday your 2 to 12-year-olds will turn into teenagers. Or maybe you have a teen or two now. When your teenagers are acting up, it’s easy to get worried about how these “kids” are going to turn out when they grow into adults. Or whether they will even make it to adulthood in the first place? If so, will they be able to survive on their own?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2016
Are you stuck in another total, nuclear, ballistic screaming fit? Do you need a battle plan?
You’re in your least favorite aisle of the grocery store: Aisle 5. That’s the candy aisle. Your four-year-old daughter is screaming at you full blast because she’s very upset that you would not allow her to have the candy bar she had sweetly pointed out. She’s stuck in the cart, but you’re sure she can be heard all throughout the store. It feels like a crowd is slowly gathering to see how you’re going to handle the situation.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - June 2016
Understanding ADHD: A Quick Look. Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic condition in which core symptoms of excessive inattentiveness, impulsivity and hyperactivity cause significant impairments in a person's school, work, social and home life. ADHD is a huge problem for a number of reasons.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - May 2016
Tackling the Homework Problem. Homework civil wars can make school nights miserable for the whole family. Schoolwork battles can go on for two, three, or four hours a night. People begin to dread the evening, relationships become more strained, and the child in question learns to hate schoolwork more and more.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - April 2016
Nighttime Waking. So your five-year-old daughter appears at your bedside at 2:30 in the morning. When you ask her what's the matter, she looks sleepy and confused and she responds, "The elephant ran away!" Since you're not quite in your right mind either, you answer back, "Well, where did he go?" What do we have here? We have a crazy conversation in the middle of the night.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2016
Feeling Invisible to Your Kids? Try Keeping Quiet. Parents of small children often feel like invisible spirits. After spending a day cajoling, reasoning, arguing, threatening and even screaming in an attempt to get their kids to behave, many moms and dads feel like they—the parents—almost don’t exist.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - February 2016
One of the most frequent questions we get at 1-2-3 Magic workshops is this: Do we tell the kids about the program first, or do we just start?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - January 2016
When Parents Expect Too Much: The Dirty Dozen
What percentage of typically developing 4-year-olds lie? What percentage of 2-3 year olds have daily temper tantrums? How many times per hour do 3-7 year old siblings fight?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2015
How to Keep Kids from Holiday Meltdown
The 4‐year‐old tore open a Christmas gift from his Grandma. Realizing it was a pair of pajamas, he screamed "No! I don't want any
stupid clothes!" and threw the PJs onto the floor. The problem? Grandma was sitting in the room.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - November 2015
Good Parenting Builds Your Child’s Self-Esteem
In a sense, affection is the “I like you” part of parenting. Affection is a self‐esteem builder for kids because it represents a direct confirmation of the young person and it contributes to the social‐ competence part of the self‐esteem equation.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2015
Angry Parents Make Noise, Happy Parents Remain Silent
We all suffer from a biological curse that motivates us to say something to our kids when we’re angry at them but to keep quiet when the little ones are doing what we want them to do.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - September 2015
Overparenting: What's the Problem?
Overparenting refers to unnecessary corrective, cautionary or disciplinary comments made by parents to kids. Adults who overparent usually do it repeatedly and overparenting has predictable, negative effects on children.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - August 2015
5 Back to School Tips for Parents
It’s almost that time of year again. Believe it or not, your kids will be heading back to school in the near future. You can almost taste it! But making the transition from summer to fall means that you’d better think ahead.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2015
How to Resolve Conflict Quickly & Reasonably
So how do you resolve squabbles quickly and reasonably? You need to stop and think a little bit and then come up with a plan.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - June 2015
Quick Conflict Resolution is Critical
When a parent makes a demand of a child or turns down a request, we have a mini-conflict situation. How parents and kids resolve these situations hour after hour and day after day has a huge impact on family life, marriages, mental health and on the ultimate maturity of children as adults.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - May 2015
Parenting: The Dream vs. The Reality
Dealing successfully with your own children and being a good parent involves praising your children, listening to them and having fun with them. It also involves managing kids’ difficult behavior—gently but effectively.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - April 2015
Avoid the Talk‐Persuade‐Argue‐Yell‐Hit Syndrome
Many adults enter parenthood with visions of "picture perfect" children. They imagine a warm and loving home, as well as respectful and polite kids, all eagerly doing whatever is asked with only an occasional explanation from Mom or Dad.
As a veteran parent, you know this is not reality.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2015
Your Child’s Self‐Esteem: Are You Helping or Hurting? What does it take to raise competent, good‐natured children who can feel a healthy respect for themselves? Research has shown over and over that good parenting involves two basic components. One will not surprise you, but the other one may catch you off guard.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - February 2015
Dinnertime: Managing Fussy Eaters. How many times have you read that dinnertime is supposed to be a wonderful occasion for togetherness and family bonding? Everyone chills out, enjoys one another's company, and shares humorous and engaging stories.
If suppertime at your house does not fit this picture, don't feel bad. You have lots and lots of company!
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - January 2015
When Parents Expect Too Much: The Dirty Dozen. What percentage of typically‐developing 4‐year‐olds lie? What percentage of 2‐3 year olds have daily temper tantrums? How many times per hour do 3‐7 year old siblings fight? Why are these questions important?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2014
The holidays are coming up, and although many parents look forward to having their children home from school, they also find that after a few days it isn't so easy having the kids underfoot all the time. The youngsters are all excited about Christmas, they start fighting more often, and when they’re not doing that they complain to their parents that they’re bored.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - November 2014
Homework civil wars make school nights miserable for everyone. There’s brother at the kitchen table after dinner staring out the window. His favorite sister, who completed her homework years ago, smugly watches TV in the other room. Mom and Dad check in now and then to badger the distinguished scholar.
Bad end to the day. How can you make homework less painful and more efficient?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2014
Whining: That Voice! Whining is high on the list of childhood behaviours that are really, really obnoxious to parents. Some kids have developed this strategy to an art, and there are a few youngsters who deserve academy awards for their performances!
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - September 2014
Going to Bed - And Staying There! Bedtime. The calmest, most peaceful time of day. You tell your drowsy little munchkins that it’s time for bed and they all yell, “Yay!” They run off to get into their pajamas, brush their teeth, and crawl into bed.
It’s not like this in your house?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2014
Big Dog vs. Underdog Parenting Styles: The old saying about kids not coming with a training manual is true. And the problem of "What do I do with this kid?" is intensified for parents in our contemporary rush-rush, worry-worry world.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - June 2014
Reality Check for Parents: A basic principle of good discipline requires that parents, teachers and other caretakers have realistic expectations of what children are capable of doing. It is obviously going to be crippling to self-esteem if the child is not ready to do all the things the parents expect.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - May 2014
Tantrums! What to Do: Of all the behavioural problems parents face from their children, temper tantrums are probably the most upsetting as well as the hardest to manage - especially in public. But the next time you are faced with a child's tantrum, consider making two new and drastic changes - one in the way you think and the other in what you do.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - April 2014
What to do about lying: Imagine you give a child the third degree about whether or not he has homework. He denies it six times and finally, after your seventh question, he admits that he has some. What has happened?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2014
Your Child’s Self‐Esteem: Are You Helping or Hurting? What does it take to raise competent, good‐natured children who can feel a healthy respect for themselves?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - January 2014
What's your parenting style? Promoting the self‐discipline and self‐esteem of one’s children often requires an emotional juggling act by parents. It is not easy to be firm and demanding one minute, then warm and affectionate the next.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2013
How to Keep Kids from Holiday Meltdown: The 4‐year‐old tore open a Christmas gift from his Grandma. Realizing it was a pair of pajamas, he screamed "No! I don't want any stupid clothes!" and threw the PJs onto the floor. The problem? Grandma was sitting in the room.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2013
Homework Do’s and Don’ts – Part II
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - September 2013
Homework Do’s and Don’ts – Part I: Homework hassles can make school nights miserable for the whole family. For some families homework battles can go on for two, three or four hours per night. People begin to dread the evening, relationships are strained severely and the child in question learns to hate schoolwork more and more.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - August 2013
So how do you resolve squabbles quickly and reasonably? You need to stop and think a little bit and then come up with a plan. You can use one very simple kind of conflict resolution plan when you want your kids to stop doing something obnoxious, such as arguing, whining, fighting or tantruming.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2013
How parents and kids resolve conflict situations hour after hour and day after day has a huge impact on family life, marriages, mental health and on the ultimate maturity of children as adults.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2017
Attitude Adjustment Time! Big Dog vs. Underdog Parenting Styles
Anyone who is a parent knows that the job is tough. Really tough. If we moms and dads were really honest with ourselves, we'd have to admit that we had almost no idea what we were getting into when we brought that first baby home.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - February 2017
The Six Kinds of Testing and Manipulation - Who’s in Charge at Your House?
True or False? Kids’ self-esteem and creativity are both higher when they can “do their own thing” and they are not exposed to external limits imposed by adult authority.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2016
How to Keep Kids from Holiday Meltdown: The 4-year-old tore open a Christmas gift from his Grandma. Realizing it was a pair of pajamas, he screamed “No! I don’t want any stupid clothes!” and threw the PJs onto the floor. The problem? Grandma was sitting in the room.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - November 2016
Dad’s Discipline Blunders: The two biggest mistakes that most Dads make trying to use positive discipline with their children are these: Too Much Talking and Too Much Emotion.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2016
Your Child’s Self-Esteem: 5 Key Building Blocks: When your kids are adults their self-esteem will be an important barometer of how well life is going for them, and if they are going to maintain a realistic and healthy level of self-respect, two things will be required: Reasonable, real-world success and A fair internal judge
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - August 2016
Worried about your Teens? Ten Years from Now... Someday your 2 to 12-year-olds will turn into teenagers. Or maybe you have a teen or two now. When your teenagers are acting up, it’s easy to get worried about how these “kids” are going to turn out when they grow into adults. Or whether they will even make it to adulthood in the first place? If so, will they be able to survive on their own?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2016
Are you stuck in another total, nuclear, ballistic screaming fit? Do you need a battle plan?
You’re in your least favorite aisle of the grocery store: Aisle 5. That’s the candy aisle. Your four-year-old daughter is screaming at you full blast because she’s very upset that you would not allow her to have the candy bar she had sweetly pointed out. She’s stuck in the cart, but you’re sure she can be heard all throughout the store. It feels like a crowd is slowly gathering to see how you’re going to handle the situation.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - June 2016
Understanding ADHD: A Quick Look. Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic condition in which core symptoms of excessive inattentiveness, impulsivity and hyperactivity cause significant impairments in a person's school, work, social and home life. ADHD is a huge problem for a number of reasons.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - May 2016
Tackling the Homework Problem. Homework civil wars can make school nights miserable for the whole family. Schoolwork battles can go on for two, three, or four hours a night. People begin to dread the evening, relationships become more strained, and the child in question learns to hate schoolwork more and more.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - April 2016
Nighttime Waking. So your five-year-old daughter appears at your bedside at 2:30 in the morning. When you ask her what's the matter, she looks sleepy and confused and she responds, "The elephant ran away!" Since you're not quite in your right mind either, you answer back, "Well, where did he go?" What do we have here? We have a crazy conversation in the middle of the night.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2016
Feeling Invisible to Your Kids? Try Keeping Quiet. Parents of small children often feel like invisible spirits. After spending a day cajoling, reasoning, arguing, threatening and even screaming in an attempt to get their kids to behave, many moms and dads feel like they—the parents—almost don’t exist.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - February 2016
One of the most frequent questions we get at 1-2-3 Magic workshops is this: Do we tell the kids about the program first, or do we just start?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - January 2016
When Parents Expect Too Much: The Dirty Dozen
What percentage of typically developing 4-year-olds lie? What percentage of 2-3 year olds have daily temper tantrums? How many times per hour do 3-7 year old siblings fight?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2015
How to Keep Kids from Holiday Meltdown
The 4‐year‐old tore open a Christmas gift from his Grandma. Realizing it was a pair of pajamas, he screamed "No! I don't want any
stupid clothes!" and threw the PJs onto the floor. The problem? Grandma was sitting in the room.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - November 2015
Good Parenting Builds Your Child’s Self-Esteem
In a sense, affection is the “I like you” part of parenting. Affection is a self‐esteem builder for kids because it represents a direct confirmation of the young person and it contributes to the social‐ competence part of the self‐esteem equation.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2015
Angry Parents Make Noise, Happy Parents Remain Silent
We all suffer from a biological curse that motivates us to say something to our kids when we’re angry at them but to keep quiet when the little ones are doing what we want them to do.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - September 2015
Overparenting: What's the Problem?
Overparenting refers to unnecessary corrective, cautionary or disciplinary comments made by parents to kids. Adults who overparent usually do it repeatedly and overparenting has predictable, negative effects on children.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - August 2015
5 Back to School Tips for Parents
It’s almost that time of year again. Believe it or not, your kids will be heading back to school in the near future. You can almost taste it! But making the transition from summer to fall means that you’d better think ahead.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2015
How to Resolve Conflict Quickly & Reasonably
So how do you resolve squabbles quickly and reasonably? You need to stop and think a little bit and then come up with a plan.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - June 2015
Quick Conflict Resolution is Critical
When a parent makes a demand of a child or turns down a request, we have a mini-conflict situation. How parents and kids resolve these situations hour after hour and day after day has a huge impact on family life, marriages, mental health and on the ultimate maturity of children as adults.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - May 2015
Parenting: The Dream vs. The Reality
Dealing successfully with your own children and being a good parent involves praising your children, listening to them and having fun with them. It also involves managing kids’ difficult behavior—gently but effectively.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - April 2015
Avoid the Talk‐Persuade‐Argue‐Yell‐Hit Syndrome
Many adults enter parenthood with visions of "picture perfect" children. They imagine a warm and loving home, as well as respectful and polite kids, all eagerly doing whatever is asked with only an occasional explanation from Mom or Dad.
As a veteran parent, you know this is not reality.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2015
Your Child’s Self‐Esteem: Are You Helping or Hurting? What does it take to raise competent, good‐natured children who can feel a healthy respect for themselves? Research has shown over and over that good parenting involves two basic components. One will not surprise you, but the other one may catch you off guard.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - February 2015
Dinnertime: Managing Fussy Eaters. How many times have you read that dinnertime is supposed to be a wonderful occasion for togetherness and family bonding? Everyone chills out, enjoys one another's company, and shares humorous and engaging stories.
If suppertime at your house does not fit this picture, don't feel bad. You have lots and lots of company!
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - January 2015
When Parents Expect Too Much: The Dirty Dozen. What percentage of typically‐developing 4‐year‐olds lie? What percentage of 2‐3 year olds have daily temper tantrums? How many times per hour do 3‐7 year old siblings fight? Why are these questions important?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2014
The holidays are coming up, and although many parents look forward to having their children home from school, they also find that after a few days it isn't so easy having the kids underfoot all the time. The youngsters are all excited about Christmas, they start fighting more often, and when they’re not doing that they complain to their parents that they’re bored.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - November 2014
Homework civil wars make school nights miserable for everyone. There’s brother at the kitchen table after dinner staring out the window. His favorite sister, who completed her homework years ago, smugly watches TV in the other room. Mom and Dad check in now and then to badger the distinguished scholar.
Bad end to the day. How can you make homework less painful and more efficient?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2014
Whining: That Voice! Whining is high on the list of childhood behaviours that are really, really obnoxious to parents. Some kids have developed this strategy to an art, and there are a few youngsters who deserve academy awards for their performances!
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - September 2014
Going to Bed - And Staying There! Bedtime. The calmest, most peaceful time of day. You tell your drowsy little munchkins that it’s time for bed and they all yell, “Yay!” They run off to get into their pajamas, brush their teeth, and crawl into bed.
It’s not like this in your house?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2014
Big Dog vs. Underdog Parenting Styles: The old saying about kids not coming with a training manual is true. And the problem of "What do I do with this kid?" is intensified for parents in our contemporary rush-rush, worry-worry world.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - June 2014
Reality Check for Parents: A basic principle of good discipline requires that parents, teachers and other caretakers have realistic expectations of what children are capable of doing. It is obviously going to be crippling to self-esteem if the child is not ready to do all the things the parents expect.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - May 2014
Tantrums! What to Do: Of all the behavioural problems parents face from their children, temper tantrums are probably the most upsetting as well as the hardest to manage - especially in public. But the next time you are faced with a child's tantrum, consider making two new and drastic changes - one in the way you think and the other in what you do.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - April 2014
What to do about lying: Imagine you give a child the third degree about whether or not he has homework. He denies it six times and finally, after your seventh question, he admits that he has some. What has happened?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - March 2014
Your Child’s Self‐Esteem: Are You Helping or Hurting? What does it take to raise competent, good‐natured children who can feel a healthy respect for themselves?
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - January 2014
What's your parenting style? Promoting the self‐discipline and self‐esteem of one’s children often requires an emotional juggling act by parents. It is not easy to be firm and demanding one minute, then warm and affectionate the next.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - December 2013
How to Keep Kids from Holiday Meltdown: The 4‐year‐old tore open a Christmas gift from his Grandma. Realizing it was a pair of pajamas, he screamed "No! I don't want any stupid clothes!" and threw the PJs onto the floor. The problem? Grandma was sitting in the room.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - October 2013
Homework Do’s and Don’ts – Part II
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - September 2013
Homework Do’s and Don’ts – Part I: Homework hassles can make school nights miserable for the whole family. For some families homework battles can go on for two, three or four hours per night. People begin to dread the evening, relationships are strained severely and the child in question learns to hate schoolwork more and more.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - August 2013
So how do you resolve squabbles quickly and reasonably? You need to stop and think a little bit and then come up with a plan. You can use one very simple kind of conflict resolution plan when you want your kids to stop doing something obnoxious, such as arguing, whining, fighting or tantruming.
1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter - July 2013
How parents and kids resolve conflict situations hour after hour and day after day has a huge impact on family life, marriages, mental health and on the ultimate maturity of children as adults.